ROMANTIC BOND THAT FALLS APART -- TRAGEDI OKTOBER

everybody knows her antics. during hari raya she would spend a week in kelantan celebrating raya with her bf. she was never felt  alienated even though she is originated far away across the south china sea. she could make herself fit in since the family members make her a part of them. and indeed the home is cozy and warm welcoming her presence. her bf's auntie treats her well. so do the mum, dad and those in her bf's family.. all in all, everybody would put the finger crossed seeing them teamed up on the pelamin.

cik_toe is my senior despite we are the same age. she worked a year before me. during her years in usm, she took mass communication and yet she was the same batch with some prominent young journalists who's making the names. those who know her will NEVER find this girl annoying. she is solicitious, fun, loving, easygoing and amiable. she speaks softly and the first time i heard her voice, i thought she was from kelantan. nobody who talks to her will never feel tickled since she is a good joker. she is happy-go-lucky, mouthy and able to make everyone laugh-until-the tears-flow.

a few days before hari raya, as usual we made fun of her. telling that she's going to spend the holiday in kelantan. and she will have a new tudung or kebaya bought by her bf's autie. or maybe she will buy a sarung and pelekat to please her future mum and dad in law.

we made all to tease her. but she didn't react. i suppose she didn't think it was funny enough to smile.

"hey, toe..apasal ni? kau ok ke?"

finally, the story burst out. she confided in to us what was happening between she and her bf. she started the story. on that sunday, 15 oct, she went out with her friends to masjid india. it was a last-gasp shopping before the eve of hari raya. she made a minor mistake by not informing her bf that she wanted to go out... adding to the troublesome, she has left the mobile phone at home by accident.

after going back, she found she has been attacked by mountainous sms from her bf. after a message deleted, there comes few others. she got sicked..sicked and sicked... her bf tried to accuse she had betrayed him. she had cheated on him and lots more. she was down reading those wrong allegations. she couldn't help her tears streaming down her cheeks. it was too much. after 5 years they were together, the bf seemed to have no trust on her..she couldn't take it anymore. (this is what have been told by cik_toe..i'm not exaggregating the facts)

so, they planned to face-to-face. cik_toe spoke out the truth about what went around. she slammed her bf with the facts that the bf had invaded her privacy...she just enjoying her life...hanging out with friends who are all-girls.. she didn't think it was wrong and it is not the right of her bf doing such thing by asking so-and-so and restrict her personal time with her friends. the bf-and-gf relationship doesn't mean that he has an absolute right on her. she told all this until her bf lost the words. after being moved by cik_toe's explanation, he wept. he cried his heart out..hearing this, i felt shocked. it was an unlikely situation for a manly-looking man like the bf to cry like a kid. it was shameful but cik_toe has satisfied. she didn't mean tO make the bf acted like a little boy, but the thing is, she wanted him to learn the mistake he has done. she just wanted a free space for her to hang out. it is not necessary a gf have to hook up with the bf all the time and bf is not rightful to take control on her.. she's gonna feel being overdomineered!!!

i don't have sound idea to second which party. but to me, in the relationship, both parties have to bear with trust. i cannot point my index finger to the bf by claiming he is totally guilty.. i know his background... he is a school teacher. i don't think he thinks quite open to let someone he loves freely mingled with anybody, especially without his permission. even though they have not being bound yet, at least the gf has to mind what role does the bf plays. he has been the protector (since cik_toe lives far away from her family, the family had trusted the bf to take care of her.) but without informing him her whereabouts, it seems to violate his 'authority'...his egoism shaked and he couldn't think wisely to empower cik_toe as such..

at any rate i don't blame my friend, cik_toe. she may has her own reason. she is not a shy and helpless girl who lies herself on a patriarchical man..she is independent! a conservative man should learn how to keep her. her bf had known her for 5 years.. i don't think it is long enough to know her upclose and personal. he has to study her before decided to live his life with her..

but then it was the "tragedi oktober"  for cik_toe and her bf..if the previous hari raya shines with amicable atmosphere, raya this year doesn't meant to be so. but the things which makes me smile is on tuesday, 17 oct. cik_toe  has drafted an m-o-u with her bf. she let some of us to see it..and owh god! i never seen such m-o-u drafted like this. it was totally funny!!!

nevertheless, i'm still hoping their problems fixed and the relationship gone smooth as it used to be.

 WHY ENGLISH ???

some days ago, i have dropped by mnajem's blog...he writes the text in english frequently. but on that day (the day i read that entry), i saw he let the readers know he feels uncomfortable using english..by having the blog written in english may seems the blog author is english-literate. those who write blogs in english might feel superior than those who use their mother-tounge language. (<--i'm not sure i'm writing this representing whose idea, but it definitely not mnajem himself)..writing blog in english also will see the blog is widely-exposed to the international readers..

for your information, if mnajem feel so, he is not alone suffering from this problem. i'm also kinda uncomfortable using english, spoken or written. whenever I HAVE TO present  my idea in english, i always find it is difficult to make those who listen understand. sometimes, if i need to speak out, i have to spend several minutes thinking about what am i going to say. i bet, the listeners will stink. if the beginning i was enthusiastically to speak english, but after some negative reactions, it's going to let me down. the instance?:

let say, i am approaching someone who is an ardent english speaker. i give the introduction then he replies. after several lines, he shows me his enthusiasm on the topic. he talks..talks..talks...without period. then i will find myself difficult to comprehend what is he saying as he talks so fast and making me no chance to interfere. the result? i have no preservatives to add to make the conversation runs perkily. and the most awful, i cannot present my idea very well in english since i have no extended ideas, and i take long to extract the ideas in malay to english..so how come? i will gonna quit the conversation and leave. because? because i don't know how to expand the conversation in english. i wonder if my english-speaking listener will be patient waiting for me until my ideas pop out? i don't think he will, so i make the solution which i think the best for him but the worst for me...it's ok. (you might have been asking, what is his negative reactions?) owh, this can be::

------>> feeling bored..this depicts from his facial expression

------>> he doesn't give support..after finding i'm unable to speak english, he stop speaking that language, assuming i might encounter a problem to make he understood. so, he continue to converse in my mother-tounge language.

forget abut him..as u know, (i've written it in the 2nd page) i have been thrived sitting for the KPLI interview. the result will be released on december (the month i was born..hehehe)..for KPLI, i decided to choose english for primary school. if i succeed the interview, i will have a one-year course runs in the teaching training centre. you need no reason why did i choose to write this blog in english, my dear guests. it is absolutely true, i did it because i'm going to be AN ENGLISH TEACHER !!!! i know it is not wise to put high hope. but i think i'm just attempting some effort in order to make my dream comes true. i know, my dear guests..you come here, you read my blog, without having your words on, without leaving any comments.. your just laughing seeing how my english have written..i know, my grammar scattered, my vocabs is little, but i love doing so since it sharpen my english...i just putting my effort.

i know it is long way to go. the result may not sided at me at all. but at least, i am positive to learn english for the sake of my future..my career.. i want to be an english teacher..if i still remain the same, is it possible my english can be improved? and how could you trust a poor-english person to teach your children?? huh? ha? so, i make this blog to train my english skills. (i never took MUET, but during my years in  i i u m, i have to master reading, writing, listening and speaking skills in english before i can smile holding a degree. yes, you can say without having good english skills, you still can be a university graduate, but being an ex-i i u m, it is our advantage. don't want to argue about it anymore. the thing is, i insist i'm serious learning english.. i know, i cannot train myself to speak english very well since i am surrounded by malay-speaking environment..so, i think writing this blog in english can help. everybody, give me your support.

 JOM HEBOH CARNIVAL - STD. BATU KAWAN, PENANG

so, here is the fixtures throughout this year...for november, we will be in penang (3-5 november)..see you around !!!!! (ehehe...actually i don't like it, i don't like artistes and such..but...huhuh..as i say..it is for the sake of my career..urrkk..)  ..go get our booth..!!

Dates	States	Venue
11 & 12 Feb	Kedah	Taman Tema Darul Aman, Jitra
11 & 12 March	Negeri Sembilan	Nilai 3, Seremban
1 & 2 April	Melaka	MITC, Ayer Keroh
6 & 7 May	Johor Bahru	Dataran JB, Johor Bahru
3 & 4 June	Sarawak	Dataran Kipas, Miri
1 & 2 July	Sabah	Kompleks Sukan Likas, Kota Kinabalu
12 & 13 August	Kuala Lumpur	Stadium Nasional, Kompleks Bukit Jalil
2 & 3 September	Perlis	Stadium Utama, Kangar
4 & 5 November	Penang	Stadium Batu Kawan, Seberang Prai
9 & 10 December	Selangor	Stadium Malawati, Shah Alam